Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Im like as if drowning in tears. Struggling so hard to let myself breathe the calm air. My mind were shut and i don't know what to do or what to think. I just need space, peace and an opportunity for me to live on my own, my way..
As usual i woke up early in the morning everyday, sent Dewi cuzzie to tuition, bought some breakfast and then do some house chores. Together with everyday non-stop lecturing by granny bout my life. Im in a mist of giving up my life here, feels like going away where nobody knows where i am. I just want to be alone.. I don't want to trouble anybody else in my entire family. I just wanna go away...
Every night, I think of my past and future life might be.. I learn alot and i don't understand why they just can't see the change of me. The change of becoming to a better person. Sometimes, i miss my hommie, the times when my siblings and i were still awake late at night, playing games with my lil brother, having late supper with my rebellious sister, and squeezing my mum's bre**t. Haha! tats too much! Now things over here were so much different. I had no one to talk to unless my Indonesian aunty were around. I cried most of the time whenever im alone, and counting the days to the day that i shall regain my happiness.
Haiz... i don't know how long can i tolerate and at the same time, thinking of where can i stay for like another 3 months..
